Keeping Passion in Your Marriage


It's natural to feel a certain level of apprehensiveness as you muse, "How can I maintain a high level of passion in my marriage over a period of many years?" After all, maintaining a flame of passion over decades can be challenging. But with intentional effort, patience, and love, it's absolutely feasible.

Meet Tom and Nancy, a couple who have managed to weather 40 years of marital bliss. Their secret? Consistent efforts to grow individually and together. They testify that keeping a conflagration of passion isn't about ebbing grand gestures but daily expressions of love.

Tom remarks, "Speak love, even in your silences." Small acts, like leaving an affectionate note in your spouse's bag, speaking encouraging words, or simply giving a warm smile, can firmly reinstate your feelings, maintaining the warm bonds of passion in marriage.

A prevailing myth cites the natural decline of passion over the years. While it's true that initial infatuation might wane, it's replaced by a more profound, meaningful connection. Appreciate this transformation and continually seek to spark joyous moments together.

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"Cork and fork" —that's how Nancy phrases it. She admits, "The reader wants to maintain a high level of passion in the marriage, and it lies just as much in sharing a beautifully cooked meal together as connecting through meaningful conversations."

"Mistakes to avoid to keep a passionate marriage over time" —avoid neglecting personal growth. As individuals, it's essential to maintain interests, hobbies, and friendships outside the marriage. While it provides balance, it also introduces a dynamic element in the relationship, fueling admiration and attraction.

Though it may sound daunting, physical intimacy is essential for maintaining passion. As aging introduces physical challenges, be supportive, patient, and communicative with your spouse. Perceive it not as an obstacle but as an opportunity to explore different avenues of expressing love.

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Don’t let yourself become lazy.  Anything worth having takes some effort.  Commit to the effort.

Revisiting your initial dating days by recreating those memorable experiences can trigger a strong emotional response, replenishing your shared passion. A revisit to your proposal venue, a home revision of your first movie date - navigate the lanes of nostalgia to enkindle the flames of passion.

“Never stop courting.” It's age-old advice but timeless. Compliment your spouse, express your appreciation, and show interest in their day—a touch of romance can elevate the everyday mundane to heartfelt moments.

Engage in activities together. It doesn’t have to be grand— gardening, cooking, walking— anything that invites you to work as a team and create moments of shared joy.

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Forgive and forget. Over the years, you'll have disagreements and face challenges. The key is to express your feelings, forgive, and avoid holding grudges. You'll remove barriers to intimacy and passion when you can do this.

Respect and admiration are potent love enhancers. Remember why you fell in love, and respect the changes each of you has encountered. Your genuine admiration for each other can sustain the passion over the years.

Do not underestimate the power of humor. An infectious laughter or a shared inside joke can instantly brighten a day and fill it with positivity.

The power of prayer has immense influence in a Christian marriage. Pray for each other, seeking God's grace and blessing in your journey. Matthew 19:6 says, "What God has joined together, let no one separate." Let God be at the center of your marriage.

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Swerve from routine. The exact working hours, dinner patterns, vacation spots—familiarity can breed boredom. Stir in some spontaneity now and then. Surprise lunches, unexpected date nights, or a change in routine can foster excitement and anticipation.

Demonstrate your commitment, not just through words but via actions. Show them that you choose them every day.  Valentine’s Day arrives on the same day every year - February 14.

Hold onto kindness. A kind word, a thoughtful gesture, or a loving glance can mean a lot. Keeping kindness at the heart of your interactions keeps the passion alive.

In conclusion, keeping your marriage alive and passionate over the years requires consistent, intentional efforts. But the promise of enduring love and companionship, like Tom and Nancy's, is worth every effort. As a Christian couple, don't forget to lean on God's guidance and nurture your marriage under His watchful eyes.

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