The Need for Validation

We all enjoy a pat on the back or kudos when we do something right or accomplish a goal. It validates our thoughts and actions and boosts our confidence to continue achieving our dreams and ambitions.

1. Ask Yourself Why You Seek Other's Approval

Understanding why you need validation from others helps you in taking the necessary steps to grow in confidence. Many times, your need for approval comes from your past. Take some time to ask questions and reflect on the answers.  

Obtaining validation from your parents, friends, or social media is okay unless you seek outside validation constantly. If you do need the approval of others to feel better about yourself, it’s time to stop and learn how you can trust yourself and gain self-confidence, starting with these nine tips.

2. List Things You Think You Are "Bad" at Doing

Sometimes we get caught up in a cycle of feeling like we cannot do anything right. This leads us to seek outside approval.

Take some time to write down everything you think you are “bad” at, even if it is small, then review it, and determine to work on one item. Once you accomplish it, pick another. Each time you master a new thing, you grow in confidence.

3. Focus on Your Positive Actions

Boost your confidence and write down 5-7 things you accomplished today, no matter the size. For example, maybe you met your water intake goal, handled a disgruntled customer graciously, and cleaned the kitchen after dinner. Each item shifts your thinking from negative to positive.

4. Break the Habit of Asking for Validation

Before you ask for confirmation and validation from others, pause. Do you genuinely need their opinion? What would you tell them if the roles were reversed? When you wait a moment and consult with yourself, you strengthen your confidence and self-trust.

5. Look at Rejection as the Path to Growth

Each incident in your life, whether good or bad, provides an opportunity for growth. Consider a time when you disappointed someone. How did you recover from that situation? What did you learn from it? Using disapproval as feedback shows you how you are growing and moving forward.

6. Make Personal Growth a Priority

Choosing to continue growing as a person and learning from your mistakes frees you from the need for others’ approval. Focus on pushing forward, knowing you may make a mistake or two. Then, learn from it and grow in your confidence.

7. Turn Off Social Media

Social media overstimulates our brains with a constant flow of idealistic images. If you don’t measure up, you may struggle with feeling like you don’t obtain the number of likes you want.

Enjoy the break and use the opportunity to read a book, accomplish a goal, or do some other endeavor.  The only one who makes the final decision about your activities is you.  Make sure your decisions are giving your the outcomes you most want.

8. Stop Playing the Comparison Game

You are unique. You have talents and skills all your own. Instead of comparing yourself to others, learn to accept who you are while looking to the future and where you’d like to be. It is a tricky balance, but it is worth the effort to build your confidence.

9. Accept Yourself for Who You Are

What makes you happy? Seek out those things that increase your happiness and stop worrying about what other people think. This will be challenging, but it is a great confidence booster as you build your self-confidence.

You can do this!  You're worth it!

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