Mind Over Chatter:
Silencing Your Inner Critic

As we get a little more mileage on our personal odometers, we share a lot of the same bumps in the road as the younger crowd. One of the biggest potholes, at least in my experience, is negative thinking. I am talking about that little voice in your head. You know the one. The inner critic who never seems to take a day off.

I will be honest, I am not always a patient entity. I try my best to be patient with everyone else, but when I am dealing with myself? Zero patience. Sometimes I get downright annoyed with the clown staring back at me in the mirror, or in my case, the reflection on my monitor.

How about you? Do you ever catch yourself letting negative, self-destructive thoughts crash on your mental couch? If you are anything like me, you probably even talk yourself out of good ideas just by being unnecessarily harsh. We have to watch out for this! If you let it go unchecked, that inner critic will take over the whole house.

Are you sending yourself any of these ridiculous messages? Let us look at some classic examples of negative self-talk, along with a few highly unscientific but very effective ways to kick them to the curb.

Number 1. No one understands me.

You look around at your friends, your family, and your coworkers, and you think, Wow, I am an alien and none of these people get my vibe. If you feel this way, take a step back. You have all these great people in your life, but are you actually telling them how you feel? People are not mind readers. Try opening up and sharing your thoughts. Once you start talking, you will realize you are not an alien after all, and it will do wonders for your confidence.

Number 2. I just do not have the time.

You tell yourself you do not have time to chase your dreams, get healthy, or finally start that hobby you have been pinning on your vision board for five years. Listen, if the only things you have time to do are the things you are forced to do, life is going to get boring real fast. You need a little balance. Start small. Steal just fifteen minutes a day for something that makes you smile. When you become the boss of your own schedule, you will magically find time for the fun stuff.

Number 3. I do not deserve to be happy.

Maybe you made some choices in the past that were, well, less than stellar. Now you are beating yourself up over them like it is an Olympic sport. But hold on a second. If you look back and realize those were bad choices, congratulations! That means you learned from them. You grew up. Stop the self-punishment and give yourself a high-five for getting wiser. Tell yourself, I absolutely deserve to be happy, because I am smart enough to learn from my mistakes.

Number 4.
Things never work out for me.

Ah, the classic pity party. This is a blanket statement that basically tells your brain, I am a walking disaster. But let us be real. You do a lot of things incredibly well. You are just suffering from selective amnesia, focusing only on the burnt toast and ignoring the five-course meals you have cooked perfectly. Grab a pen and rite down the things you are actually good at. It is time to give your wins a little spotlight.

Number 5.
If it is not perfect, I am not doing it.

It is great that you want to do your best. But if you demand perfection on the very first try, you are never going to leave your comfort zone. Have you ever seen a baby try to walk perfectly on the first try? No, they fall over, and we clap anyway. Give yourself permission to stumble. Adopt a new motto: If at first I do not succeed, I will just make a glorious mess and try again. Embrace your mistakes. They are just proof that you are trying.

Number 6.
I am too afraid to do what I really want.

What exactly is the boogeyman here? Usually, it is just the fear of looking silly, failing, or worrying about what the neighbors will think. Spoiler alert: the neighbors are too busy worrying about what you think of them. It is totally normal to be a little scared when you try something new. The trick is to feel your knees knocking and do it anyway. If you let fear drive the car, you will never see all the amazing places you could go.

Next time that negative voice tries to ruin your day, use these tips to shut it down. Evict those self-destructive thoughts for good, and get back to living a life full of joy, laughter, and peace. You have earned it.

Please share your thoughts and any response you may have in the form below.

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