Thou Shalt Not... Wear a Fake Mustache? 
A Cross-Country Tour of America's Wackiest Laws

Hello friend! If you have ever read through the Old Testament, you know the Israelites had some pretty specific laws to follow. But before we scratch our heads at Leviticus, we might want to take a look at our own backyard. As it turns out, our local lawmakers have penned some rules that make not mixing fabrics look completely normal.

Whether these are old historical quirks that never got erased, or just funny urban legends that have been passed down, they are widely circulated as actual laws on legal blogs and trivia sites. So, buckle up, and please, leave your alligator costume at home. We are going on a legal road trip!

Down South, they take church very seriously. In Alabama, you cannot drive a motor vehicle while blindfolded, which is just good common sense and probably a good rule for life in general. But more importantly, the law supposedly states you cannot wear a fake mustache to church with the intent of making people laugh. I guess the Lord loves a cheerful giver, but He draws the line at Groucho Marx glasses during the sermon!

Speaking of Sunday rules, it is important that you know you may not play hopscotch on Sunday in Missouri. The Sabbath is a day of rest, folks, so keep those chalk squares off the driveway.

Let us head over to Florida. If you are a woman in the Sunshine State, you can reportedly be arrested if you fall asleep while under a hair dryer, and the salon owner can be fined. Even better, if you happen to park your elephant at a parking meter, you must feed the meter just as if you were parking a car. I suppose Noah would have had to bring a lot of quarters for the Ark!

Up in Alaska, they prohibit students from building a snowman taller than the person building it while on school grounds. Meanwhile, Arizona prohibits the manufacture or distribution of fake cocaine (apparently, they only want the real problems?), and they also prohibit the hunting of camels.

In Denver, Colorado, it is illegal to lend your vacuum cleaner to your neighbor. A cup of sugar is fine, but if your neighbor's floors are dirty, they are on their own. Love thy neighbor, just not enough to share your Dyson!

Kansas makes it illegal to shoot a rabbit if you are in a motorboat. Indiana says liquor stores cannot sell milk. And Nebraska, perhaps wanting to foster a spirit of hospitality, says that bar owners must brew a kettle of soup if they wish to sell beer.

If you live in North Dakota, you must know it is illegal to fall asleep with your shoes on. In Dublin, Georgia, it is unlawful for anyone to wear a mask or hood to conceal their identity in public, except on Halloween.

Be careful in Ohio. The state has a law that makes it illegal to get a fish drunk. I am not sure how you would even go about that, but let us just stick to feeding them flakes.

Georgia continues to legislate our manners even when we have passed on to glory. They reportedly have a law making it illegal to swear in front of a corpse. North Carolina says that Bingo games cannot last for more than 5 hours straight. If you have been at the church fellowship hall playing Bingo for five hours, it is definitely time to go home anyway!

Idaho has a law addressing couples: if in public, they may not kiss for more than 18 minutes. We can all agree that modesty is a virtue.

Be mindful of your behavior while on the beach in Maryland. If you are mistreating an oyster, you are breaking the law. Over in Washington state, you can be arrested for harassing Bigfoot. In the same state, it is also illegal to be sick while in public.

Flint, Michigan, has made it against the law to wear sagging pants. Louisiana says you may not wear an alligator costume. You are breaking the law if you slurp your soup in New Jersey.

Hawaii prohibits inserting a penny in your ear. Kentucky makes it illegal to transport an ice cream cone in your pocket, which sounds more like a laundry disaster than a crime, and the state also requires you to bathe at least once every year. Cleanliness is next to godliness, after all!

You would be breaking the law if, while in Atlanta, you tied a giraffe to a telephone pole. Clearly inhumane, and logistically difficult. And in Vermont, you may not whistle underwater. I am not sure how they enforce that one, or how you would even get the sound out.

You now have some necessary information to be better informed while you travel the United States. With this information and your careful compliance, you will have a safe, legal, and blessed journey!

Sources :

- OneLegal.com (https://www.onelegal.com/blog/funny-us-laws-that-might-surprise-you/)

- Facebook Trivia and History Groups (https://www.facebook.com/firstmediasoyummy/posts/1602789751892715/ and https://www.facebook.com/greywowkspencerllp/posts/6971996612825834/)

- LegalCatalog.com (https://www.legalcatalog.com/articles/10-fun-legal-facts-that-will-surprise-you/)

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